Posted by: askALAUNA | April 17, 2010

How to deal with women trying to take your man (Askalauna Column)

Dear Alauna,
I have a dilemma that I’m really struggling with. I have been dating this guy for over a year and we love each other very much. For some strange reason though, this one particular girl won’t leave us alone. She makes advances at him, facebooks him nonstop, and is really disrespectful to our relationship. My boyfriend has told her time and again in front of me and her that he does not want to be with or around her-but she just doesn’t seem to take the hint. A couple of weeks ago, she approached me really disrespectfully and we almost got into a physical altercation. What should I do about this psycho? Every bit of me wants to wipe the floor with her, yet I don’t know if I really want to take it that far. I could really use some advice on how to proceed.
Sincerely,
Ready to Box

Dear Ready to Box,
Don’t feel as if you are the only woman to ever experience this situation. It really is sad that this young lady is so desperate that she is willing to disgrace herself in trying to steal your boyfriend. The good news is that thus far you have done everything right. Before I give you my take on this, let me give you some need to know information.
First, understand that resorting to violence should not be an option. You have entirely too much to lose by beating the breaks off this little girl. For example, if you went ahead and knocked a few of her teeth out, you’d more than likely: 1. Be kicked out of school. 2. Earn yourself a criminal record. 3. And make your career path much tougher than it might already be in this economy. With that being said, I know how tempting it can be to react with violence when you observe someone disrespecting you. The best way to deal with this nuisance is to ignore her. When women are conniving like this girl, they thrive off of “mess”. That’s their entire lifestyle as they need “mess” to continue in their daily lives. I know it’s sad, but believe me it’s true. Your future is WAY more important than some hussy your man doesn’t want anyway. Now if she approaches you in a threatening manner, document the occurrence and contact Campus security to file a report. Keep a paper trail of her stalking behavior if she does ever get violent with you. If she’s silly enough to keep this nonsense up after she’s been warned by Campus Police, head over to the Cleveland Police Department with proof of her insolence and threatening behavior (copies of campus police reports) and place a restraining order on her mandating she stay however many feet from you at all times.
Secondly, as hard as it may seem-try to understand her worldview. This girl may come from a home with parents who taught her to behave in this manner. She may have seen her mother behaving in the same trifling way and took it as “the way she should be”. I always tell people when they encounter idiots-“don’t be mad at them, be mad at their parents as they failed their child”. With that being said, you can’t expect anything but garbage-like behavior from a trashy individual, and from what you’ve told me this girl fits the bill.
Lastly, always know that you have the upper hand. She evidently has a lot of personal problems-and those are just that- HER personal problems. Do not allow yourself to come down to her level. True women have entirely too much class to resort to “man stealing”. Women who actively partake in such behavior are pathetic at best and downright trifling at worst.

Personally, I would kiss my man all in the mouth every time she came around-but that’s me.
Just try to enjoy your relationship drama free and don’t allow her nonsense to spoil your fun. I promise things will work themselves out in the long run as she’ll get the picture soon enough.

Take it Easy,
Alauna

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Responses

  1. Amen, thank you Alauna for your advise. I was going through the same thing with some 40 something year old woman in my college. Really unclassy and disrespectful. I will document any other behavior she continues to do and I won’t forget to have compassion for women like this kind, how unfortunate.

    • Hey Sheila,
      I’m glad you saw something useful here. Remember: there is nothing new under the sun, as “hoes” were ” whores” in the bible days…. you can’t change grown people, but you can control your attitude towards foolishness….

      Take Care,
      Alauna


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